Big wave surfer Matt Bromley is no stranger to the truly terrifying. He’s conquered gargantuan waves and survived near-death plunges. Here’s how he’s teaching his kids to face fears, pursue passions and that failing is just a chance to try again.
Two years ago, Matt Bromley’s brother passed away. For the driven athlete, who has spent his career chasing big waves and making massive strides, the tragic loss was an eye-opening moment. Suddenly, what mattered most wasn’t being the most driven possible version of himself, but rather, rooting himself in the relationships that fuelled that very drive. “You really think about the most important things in your life,” he says. “Setting a foundation for my kids is a lot more important than riding the biggest wave. I know I’ll never get that time back again.”
It doesn’t mean he’s turned his back on the sport. He still travels year-round seeking swells across the world. He’s also a motivational speaker with an endless list of gigs on his schedule. Bromley’s working on a new documentary, too. (After all, bringing home dosh is still a crucial part of being a stand-up dad.)
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But his family is the nucleus of his life. When he’s abroad, it’s tough; there’s a painful longing to be back at his home in Kommetjie, or hiking out in the hills with his two kids. They’re still young, but they’re growing into themselves, and Bromley doesn’t want to miss a single moment.
“I’m lucky, I do have a lot of time at home,” he says, especially now that he’s carving out as much family time in his schedule as possible. And when he’s there: “I try my best to do the school drop-offs, put them to sleep at night… I love spending time with them. I get to be a child again, trying to play on their level or just trying to connect.” When he’s set to jet off, he spends time prepping them for his hiatus. He explains exactly how long he’ll be gone, gives them the details on his big adventure and WhatsApps through endless clips of him catching big waves. Peep those videos for yourself, and there’s no doubt Bromley is a cool dad.
Fatherhood, Fear and Finding Joy in the Small Things
That passion for surfing is seemingly contagious. His kids are just getting into it, and Bromley is more than happy to oblige their curiosity. “Just seeing that excitement unfold [when they surf], it almost reminds me of when I surfed my first waves,” he says. “The pure joy on their faces… They’ll ride a little ripple, and they’re absolutely ecstatic. It brings me back to why I fell in love with surfing. It’s so special to get to share my passion.”
However, the ocean is a tumultuous place, and learning to surf is a humbling experience. When they get ‘dunked’ by a little wave, it’s a test of their resilience. Bromley is there to encourage them, to teach them to embrace failure and think about what they’ll do differently. “The ocean demands respect,” he adds.
Easy access to surfable waves is just one of the many perks of living out in Kommetjie. It’s an outdoor oasis sandwiched between beaches and trails, so there’s an endless variety of activities on offer when it comes time to wrestle his children away from the screens. Bromley is hoping to instil an appreciation of the “simpler things in life” through spending time in nature.
“Out there, you have to put in effort to get the reward, there’s no instant gratification,” he adds. “It helps especially now; they’re so small, their emotions run hot and taking them outside [into nature] brings them back into the present.”
In the midst of a tantrum, he’ll patiently sit with them and ask them to describe what they can hear, smell and see. It’s instantly grounding, and a technique that Bromley – who despite his seemingly fearless demeanour is wracked with anxiety in the nights before tackling a big wave – uses often to clear his head.
Leading by Example, Not Instruction
While Bromley’s life has always revolved around surfing, he’s not expecting his kids to follow in his footsteps. They’ve definitely taken a keen interest in the sport, with each new clip of their dad’s daredevil feats stoking the flames, but Bromley doesn’t believe in forcing anything. “If they develop a passion for it themselves, if they’re the ones asking to do it, that’s so much healthier,” he says. But if their passions take them in a different direction, so be it.
Bromley recalls announcing to his parents that he wanted to pursue a career out on the waves. His father, a lawyer, encouraged him but with one caveat: “You treat it like a job, you put in eight hours of work every day,” the surfer remembers him saying. Bromley took that advice to heart.
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When it comes to his craft, there’s no half-assing it. And those same lessons run through his parenting. He wants to demonstrate to his children that the best things in life aren’t handed to you on a silver platter, they’re earned through hard graft and serious commitment. But it’s a case of ‘show don’t tell’.
“There’s only so much you can tell them, you have to lead by example,” says Bromley. “Even how I speak to my wife, they’re absorbing everything; how I show love to her… It’s not just telling them what to do, it’s about walking the talk, trying to live that example out.”
Fatherhood has fundamentally altered Bromley as a man. It’s both the greatest thing ever, and “one of the hardest things you’ll ever do”.“The amount of self-sacrifice, the amount of patience you have to have… You become so much less selfish when you become a parent. Part of growing is becoming a mature human being, and I believe that becoming a parent will accelerate that,” he adds.
Bromley is still learning, still finding his footing as a dad – nobody’s perfect – but he’s excited to see the types of men his sons will become. I ask him what he hopes they’ll say about him when they’ve flown the coop and built their own lives. Besides being a father who was present, compassionate and patient? “I want them to say, ‘He was scared but he did it anyway,’” says the surfer. Bromley has no delusions of being a superhero parent, he wants to show his kids that it’s fine to be fearful, to face it anyway and discover the power of fighting for what you truly want.
Redefining Fatherhood and Legacy
Blaque Nubon, host of the “That Husband” podcast, spent most of his life living in the shadow of childhood trauma. Becoming a dad was his moment of reckoning: a chance to shelve his history and start the chapters of his legacy.
Living in the Shadow of Absence
For the first 15 years of his life, Blaque Nubon had a great dad. And then, with zero warning, his reliable patriarch – the solid foundation for his confidence – left. There was a seismic shift; the certainty in his life had shattered in his father’s wake, and Nubon was stranded in a new confusing world.
He calls his childhood an ‘unfortunate privilege’. There was a part of his life where he had a dad, a true role model who had taught him life’s most valuable lessons. But there was also another part, the next 20-odd years, where he was the abandoned child desperate for answers. “It felt like I was chasing a ghost,” he says.
For the majority of his adulthood, he buried these complex feelings. Or, out of pure rebellion, sought out everything that stood against his dad’s deeply entrenched values. But when his daughter was born, he faced a reckoning. It was a joyous moment, no doubt, but when he brought her home he was wracked with a cold fear. “I was terrified,” he admits. “I saw both realities. My fear came from thinking about what caused my dad to flick at age 35. I started to think about whatever ghost was chasing him [back then] and whether it would happen to me.”
There was an epiphany; whether he was hiding from his emotions or rebelling against the spectre of his father, he was locked into a life in the shadows of his dad’s absence. In that painful penumbra, wrestling with fear, loneliness and confusion, Nubon knew he risked ‘poisoning’ his child with the same emotional burden. “I vowed then and there that I would not raise her trying to run away from who my dad was,” he shares. “Who is the dad I’m going to be for this kid? I don’t want to burden her with a ghost, some mystical figure she has no idea about. I’m robbing her of our own relationship.” “I knew I wanted to raise her for who she is,” he adds. “I’m not my dad. I have my own dreams, my own thoughts.”
Speak Freely, Break Cycles
Nubon is the host of the That Husband Podcast, a series dedicated to married men striving for personal growth, strong marriages and a better understanding of their roles as husbands. It’s unfiltered, conversational and endlessly entertaining. Most importantly, you’ll finish every episode with something poignant to think about.
In part, the podcast is a byproduct of his epiphany in the wake of welcoming his first child. He knew he had to speak to a new generation of men and spread the message that they had the power to put a stop to generational trauma. And that all starts with being the best possible husband. “When my dad was in my life, he loved my mom first and it was through seeing their love that I felt confident,” he says. “His role as a husband was more important [than as a father]. It’s why I knew I needed to speak to husbands.”
Nubon practises what he preaches. While he’s a dedicated father wrapping his head around the long-term gig that is being a parent (“This is the longest gig you’re going to have,” he laughs), he makes sure to constantly demonstrate his love and respect for his wife in front of his daughter.
And now with twins on the way, there will be more eyes than ever on his interactions. But what’s more rewarding than anything else is watching his daughter grow up in a home where presence, love and communication are intentional choices – not inherited silence.
Where Drive Meets Fatherhood
Chef, fitness fanatic and now chasing his lifelong dream of racing in Dakar, Alex Torrão is a busy guy. The kicker? He’s doing all of that while being a father who is 100% present at all times to three daughters. We caught up with the consummate all-rounder to talk reinvention, rallying and raising heroes.
A Life Built on Structure and Intention
MH: You’re a chef, fitness fanatic and now chasing dreams of racing in the Dakar Rally. How do you juggle everything while still making time for your kids?
AT: “For me, it all comes down to structure and being intentional with my time. Life is full, and my schedule is definitely hectic, so I’ve learned that if something matters, it needs to be planned for. A big part of that is checking in with my wife, understanding what the family needs, what the girls have on and then finding the gaps where I can train or focus on work.
That said, being a dad comes first. Everything else has to fit around that. I’m always trying to make sure I’m present for school moments, sports and the everyday things that matter. The balancing act is not always perfect, but I think fatherhood teaches you to be adaptable and to make the most of the time you do have.” When passion becomes momentum
MH: How do you stay motivated to pursue so many passions at once?
AT: “I’m naturally wired to stay busy and challenged. I’m a very positive and proactive person, and I enjoy having different things that keep me engaged. Motivation comes from momentum. If I only focused on one thing all the time, I’d probably lose interest.
What drives me is the variety: building a business, pushing myself physically, working towards Dakar, and most importantly, being a father. Each part of my life feeds the other. My kids motivate me to be better, my business keeps me focused and the Dakar dream reminds me that it’s important to keep chasing the things that make you feel alive.”
From a Childhood Dream to a Dakar Decision
MH: Dakar is not a typical dream. When and why did you decide the rally would be at the top of your to-do list?
AT: “Dakar has been a dream of mine since I was a child, but for a long time it felt impossible, almost too big to say out loud. I grew up around bikes, riding on farms in Portugal with family, and even though life moved on, that passion never really left me.
A few years ago, I was on a trip in Botswana riding on the salt pans when a friend took a photo of me on an old-school Dakar-style bike and said, ‘You look like a Dakar rider’. Something about that stayed with me. It reawakened something I’d carried since childhood.
Then later, after attending one of Ross Branch’s rallies and hearing Charan Moore speak, I was completely hooked. That was the moment it shifted from dream to decision. Since then, the journey has been intense, humbling and exciting. It requires discipline, sacrifice and a lot of self-belief, but it also reminded me that some dreams are worth pursuing no matter how old you are.”
Bringing His Daughters Into the Journey
MH: Do you involve your kids in your pursuits? What do they think about their entrepreneur, rallying dad?
AT: “They’re absolutely part of it. I’m a dad before anything else, so they’re always central to the journey. They’re still young, so they can’t fully experience it with me yet, but I try to include them as much as possible through stories, videos, conversations and the little details of what I’m doing.
When I’m training or travelling to places like Morocco or Namibia, they think it’s the coolest thing. They always want to know where I’m going and what I’m doing, and one day, when they’re older, I’d love for them to experience some of it with me.
Even when they’re not physically there, they’re always with me. I ride thinking about them. I carry little reminders of them with me. They’re a huge part of why this journey means so much.”
Lessons He Wants Them To Inherit
MH: What do you hope your kids learn from watching you chase your dreams?
AT: “That there is no expiry date on a dream. You are never too old to challenge yourself, reinvent yourself or go after something that feels meaningful. I also want them to see that big goals don’t just happen because you wish for them. They happen through commitment, consistency, planning, and resilience.
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As a father of three girls, it’s incredibly important to me that they grow up believing they can be strong, independent, and self-motivated. If they can look at what I’m doing and understand that even something difficult or intimidating becomes possible when you truly commit to it, then that means a lot to me.”
Compromise as the Real Reward of Fatherhood
MH: What’s the biggest thing you’ve learnt from fatherhood that’s crossed over to every other aspect of your life?
AT: “Compromise. Without question. Fatherhood teaches you that life is no longer only about you. Your time changes, your priorities shift, and you learn very quickly how to adapt. But I don’t see that as a loss. I see it as growth. Compromise in fatherhood is not about giving up; it’s about building something bigger than yourself. You’re building a family, a legacy, a future. That lesson, learning to adapt, show up and put something greater ahead of your own comfort, has influenced every part of my life.”
The Legacy Beyond the Finish Line
MH: When your kids look back one day, what do you hope they’ll say about you?
AT: “I hope they look back and remember a father who was fully present – someone who made life feel adventurous, joyful and memorable. I want them to say that I showed up, embraced the moment, and turned even the ordinary into something special. More than anything, I hope they remember me as a dad who was emotionally connected, physically present and deeply invested in their world – a father who gave his all, every single day.”
Showing Up Where It Matters
Actor Wiseman Ncube is juggling a busy shoot schedule while raising happy kids. Here’s how he strikes the balance between time in front of the camera and being present where it matters the most.
When Life Changed in an Instant
It’s 2017, and Wiseman Mncube is on set filming a new show when he receives the news that his wife has passed away. His world is shattered in an instant. Facing this immense turmoil head-on feels immeasurably daunting, and guiding his daughter through the years ahead feels like an impossible task. “It really shook me up,” he reflects.
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But his family was by his side. His mother and oldest brother helped step up as he processed the grief and made sense of a life where tragedy had turned him into a single parent. Picking up the pieces, there was one thing that became clear: he wanted to be there, every single minute he could spare, to see his daughter grow up. “Time is very important,” says Mncube. “Kids grow fast and you don’t want to miss any growing stage.” He’s learnt that any moment he’s able to spend with his daughter is more important than anything else.
Choosing Presence Over Everything Else
With roles in some of SA’s biggest blockbusters like Shaka iLembe, Mncube is a busy actor. His family has grown, and while the younger children now get “more attention,” the actor jokes, he still treasures alone time with his daughter. “Spending time in a park or any place that is not busy,” – or he won’t be recognised – “she loves nature… so waterfalls [or] hiking. A peaceful place.”
Being a dad has not only helped him grow as a person but as an actor, too. When he steps into the role of a father on screen, he draws from a rich well of lived experiences to deliver an instantly believable performance. “Sometimes being an actor can also make you a better father,” he adds. “You’ll get a storyline [for a show] where a kid is battling an illness or facing trouble at school and [you as an actor] help them deal with that. So, all the research that’s done for that story helps me deal with those challenges [at home].”
Fame, Family and Fatherhood Lessons
Mncube makes an effort to keep work and family life separate. After all, the film industry isn’t exactly the right environment for your kids if you’re a protective dad. But his kids are in awe of his fame, he says. “Sometimes when they’re playing together, I’ll overhear one saying, ‘I want to be big and loved like daddy,’” he laughs. But never one to miss a chance for a dad-approved lesson, he’ll chime in and tell them it all takes “hard work”. One day, he hopes they’ll look back and see him the same way – larger than life, quietly heroic – and still think of him as a superhero.
