Anal play has become more common among people of all genders in recent years. According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 36 percent of women and 42 percent of men have explored anal sex. Although the idea of engaging in this type of intimacy may still feel taboo for some, it’s been part of human sexual activity for centuries. Over time, societal openness and a stigma reduction have led more people to feel comfortable trying it, says Kimberly McBride, Ph.D., a sex researcher at the University of Toledo.
“Now that discussions about it have become more mainstream, and it’s frequently mentioned in pop culture and media, people are more willing to test the waters,” she adds.
Even though it’s becoming more accepted, not everyone makes it a regular part of their sexual routine. A study from Indiana University found that only 8 percent of women had engaged in anal sex in the past month. It’s often considered a “special occasion” act.
However, it’s important to note that it doesn’t have to be treated as just a rare favour. With the right approach, anal play can be an enjoyable experience for everyone involved, regardless of gender.
1. Wait For The Green Light
While it may seem obvious, communication and consent are key. McBride explains that discomfort often arises when partners attempt anal play without discussing it first. If one partner isn’t fully relaxed and ready, the experience can quickly become painful.
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Before engaging in any form of anal play, have an open conversation. Discuss boundaries, concerns, and comfort levels beforehand. Even if there’s prior consent, always check in to ensure both partners are in the mood and on the same page during the moment.
2. Play In The Shallow End
The anus can be a sensitive area, especially for someone new to anal play. To help ease into the experience, it’s best to start slow with external stimulation before moving to penetration.
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For example, you might begin with light touching or using a small vibrator on the outer area. When comfortable, gradually progress to using a well-lubricated finger or even experimenting with small butt plugs.
3. Lubricate, Lubricate, Lubricate
When ready to try penetration, there are two key things to remember: First, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, and second, it’s sensitive and prone to tearing. This makes lubrication absolutely essential. Use plenty of lube to ensure comfort and reduce any risk of injury.
4. Put Them In The Driver’s Seat
Despite what you might see in media, rushing into anal play too deeply or too quickly can lead to discomfort. The best approach is to let the receiving partner take control of the depth and pace.
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Whether in a seated, lying, or other comfortable position, allowing the person receiving to guide the experience ensures that they can adjust according to what feels good for them. Letting them take the lead can turn the experience into a more pleasurable and enjoyable moment for both partners.
