When you think of car sex, visions of fumbling first-time fingering or awkward, stiff-necked blowjobs likely flash before your eyes. And even though car sex is a right of passage, that doesn’t mean it’s only reserved for horny teens who have no place to bone besides the back of a parking lot.
You heard it here first: Car sex is for grown-ass men, women, and nonbinary babes, too. In fact, it can be just what you and boo need to reignite the spark in a long-term relationship or marriage. If you want to spice up your sex life, “new places create novelty and excitement,” says Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, an internationally certified sex therapist and the director of The Intimacy Institute. “The car is far less expensive than a hotel room, and may not even require a babysitter if you stay in your driveway.”
Plus, what really makes car sex hotter than, say, hitting up a motel for a few hours, is the major taboo element involved. “There’s something naughty about car sex because of the fear of potentially getting caught,” says Kenneth Play, a sex educator and author of Beyond Satisfied: A Sex Hacker’s Guide to Endless Orgasms, Mind-Blowing Connection, and Lasting Confidence. For many people, it’s that sort-of-public sex element that leads them to banging in the backseat in the first place.
Of course, car sex isn’t exactly as easy to pull off as missionary in the bedroom. To have memorable (in a good way) car sex, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Below, experts break down the 13 best car sex tips to help you rev those engines and gun it to Pleasureville.
1. Be smart about where you park.
First things first, you need to be choosy about *where* you’re going to have car sex. “Park thoughtfully and responsibly for an ideal amount of privacy,” says Skyler. Even though you’re in a vehicle, you can still get in trouble if passersby see you. To avoid getting that “lewd act” charge, park someplace private, like the edge of an almost empty parking lot or near a campsite, and wait until it’s dark to go at it. Oh, and wherever you choose, make sure you turn off the car and utilise that e-brake to avoid a potentially dangerous situation.
2. Plan for car sex ahead of time.
Even though car sex can be super spontaneous, it’s always a good idea to plan ahead to ensure it’s as safe and satisfying as possible. “Think about things like positions, where the condom or lube is, a vibrator, and anything else you might need, like baby wipes to clean up,” Play says. “If you need privacy, get some of those curtains for the windows. If your partner is a squirter, you might want to place a towel or waterproof blanket to cover the seat.” And if your partner has a vagina and needs clitoral stimulation to orgasm, ask them to pack a travel-sized sex toy for the road. (They’ll appreciate your foresight, trust.
One quick note, though: Don’t leave lube or condoms in your car for extended periods of time since they can melt, says Skyler. Just grab them before you hop in and make sure to take them with you when you’re done.
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3. Use the space (or lack thereof) to your advantage.
If you have a smaller car, you likely know that you’ve got very few options, space-wise. Having sex in the driver’s seat is never a good idea since it’s all too easy to accidentally hit the horn or nudge the gearshift. The front passenger seat can also make for uncomfortably close quarter, so heading to the backseat will be your best bet.
The good news: The vast majority of cars made in the past two decades can fold the backseats down. (The manufacturers did this on purpose—they want you to bone in the back.) And if you have an SUV, you can likely use the trunk space for your sexual activities as well.
Happen to be in a sex-negative car with backseats that don’t pop down? You can still sprawl out on a typical three-seat bench—just make sure to move the driver’s and passenger’s seats up as far as they can go before getting busy.
4. Play around with positions.
Naturally, the best car sex position is really going to depend on the type of vehicle you’re in, as well as your personal preferences and flexibility. But if you need to conserve space for aforementioned reasons, the best way to do this is through intimate, skin-to-skin sex. That’s why face-to-face positions, such as missionary, partner-on-top/cowgirl, and even lotus can be satisfying (and space-saving) options.
Play adds that pretty much any position you can do on a couch should work, and if you really want to turn things up, try doggy style in the backseat—the receiver can even poke their head out the window to take the “excited dog” concept to a whole other level.
5. Set the vibe.
Yes, car sex can be carnal and dirty, but it can also be slow and sensual if that’s more the vibe you’re going for. Lay down soft blankets or a silk pillow for sensation play, and if you’re celebrating a special milestone, you can even bring a few roses along. Sure, the flowers make the car smell nice and look romantic, but stroking each other with the soft petals can also double as pretty hot foreplay. Win-win.
READ MORE: Ever Heard of a Ruined Orgasm? Here’s What It Feels Like
6. Get loud.
If you live in a shared space with roommates or children, that usually means having animalistic, moan-filled sex is off the table. But getting in on in your car can change all that (just another reason to choose your parking spot wisely!). Not only can being loud during sex help you connect with your partner and release some of that pent-up energy, but it’s also a way to ensure breath control and keep your blood circulating.
7. Cue up your car sex playlist.
Another perk of having sex in the car is the built-in surround-sound speakers. Instead of just turning on the radio and hoping for the best, being intentional about the sexy music you choose can help set the mood and transform the experience, Play says. Spend some time putting together a playlist full of your favourite songs to have sex to and see just how much of a difference a good beat can make when you’re knocking boots in the backseat.
8. Don’t get fully undressed.
Having sex in a car usually isn’t the time to get fully nude since someone can walk by or you might need to make a quick exit. As much as you may want to strip down, be smart about which garments you remove. Hike up skirts, pull down pants, and do whatever you need to do to keep your clothes somewhat on. This will a) keep your actions more concealed and b) give the whole experience even more of a take-me-now vibe.
That said, you can definitely use whatever clothes you do rip off to your advantage. Wad a shirt up for an extra pillow or use your jeans to prop your/your partner’s hips up to better angle yourself for bumping uglies.
9. Incorporate some temperature play.
Between the A/C, the heated seats, and the windows/sky roof, you have a whole bunch of tools at your disposal to mess around with a little temperature play. Aim the cold vents on your partner’s nipples while you go down on them, or crank up the temp for a sauna-like feel. Try experimenting with different settings to see what works best, and don’t be afraid to really fog up the windows if all that heat turns your situation into that scene from Titanic.
10. Don’t sleep on oral.
Who said you need to have penetrative vaginal or anal sex in the car? Getting or receiving a little bit of head can be really freakin’ hot! No matter what you’ve seen in porn, you shouldn’t do this while the car is actually moving (for obvious safety reasons), but pulling over for some impromptu oral sex can be just as thrilling. Penis owners can simply recline in the passenger seat while their partner leans over, and vulva owners can get into the queening position by mounting their partner’s face in the backseat.
READ MORE: 35 Expert Secrets to Elevate Your Oral Sex Game
11. Try different types of sex.
Car sex doesn’t just equal oral or penetration, and there are plenty of ways to have a sensual car experience outside of ass-grabbing quickies. Since car sex does have that natural association with those teenage years, stick with the first few bases to channel that nostalgic feel. “The genitals don’t always have to rub up against one another to make the car a sexy time,” says Skyler. “Consider even a make-out session in a parked car for something new and different.” Seriously, never underestimate the power of dry humping.
12. Don’t forget the aftercare.
Even if your hookup was fast and furious (sorry, had to), your sexual aftercare doesn’t have to be, says Play. In fact, spending time reconnecting is one way to really heighten the overall car sex experience. “After using some baby wipes to clean up, grab a chilled drink and some chocolate in a cooler from the trunk,” he says. Whip these out, roll down the windows, and chat about the experience you just shared…or get ready for round two.
13. Skip car sex if it’s not for you.
If, after trying all of these tips you still find yourself struggling to have halfway decent car sex, then it might not be for you—and that’s okay. You can still create that sense of novelty and excitement by getting it on in another new, but perhaps more spacious, place, such as atop the kitchen counter, in a tent while camping, or even on the beach.
The pleasure possibilities are truly endless, so don’t get discouraged if bumping and grinding in the backseat doesn’t go as planned. Car sex may be a little awkward and uncomfortable—especially at first—but hey, at least you’re getting some.
This article by Zachary Zane and Rachel Varina was originally published on Men’s Health US – additional reporting and products added by the Men’s Health SA team.
