Anxiety and other mental health disorders in men are still largely stigmatised. Before you can take action, you need to recognise the signs—especially when you seem to be functioning just fine.
I’ve spent years in martial arts, love watching rugby and hitting the trails—but I also enjoy frozen yoghurt, candles, and downtime with my cats. That mix of toughness and sensitivity is where high-functioning anxiety often hides.
For many men, anxiety doesn’t look like panic attacks or visible stress. It’s a constant churn in your gut. It’s irritability. Overthinking. Insomnia. A feeling that you need to be doing more—always. And because we’re often taught to ‘tough it out,’ we learn to function through the discomfort. Until we can’t.
Why Men Don’t Talk About It
“Men are much more stigmatised by any admission of a psychiatric illness and are much less likely to seek treatment,” says Dr Sammie Moss, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente. That’s true in South Africa too, where mental health is still under-discussed, especially among men who grew up being told to be strong, silent, and stoic.
READ MORE: Depression Symptoms for Men, According to Therapists
Instead of opening up, we self-medicate. Maybe it’s alcohol. Maybe it’s overtraining in the gym. Maybe it’s becoming obsessive about work or relationships. Whatever the coping mechanism, it doesn’t address the root cause.
“Men might not say ‘I’m anxious,'” says psychologist Bruce Thiessen, Ph.D., “but they’ll show it through physical symptoms like back pain, high blood pressure, or ulcers.”
What It Actually Looks Like
When I’m anxious, I’m not the laidback guy people think I am. I’m edgy. Short-tempered. Distracted. And it’s easy to mistake those signs for personality quirks rather than a mental health issue.
Dr Lindsay Israel, psychiatrist and Chief Medical Officer at Success TMS, says men with anxiety often end up in the emergency room thinking they’re having a heart attack when it’s actually anxiety. That chest tightness? The sweaty palms? The racing heart? Classic signs.
READ MORE: What Is Trauma Therapy? Benefits, Risks and How It Works
And because many men don’t talk about what they’re going through, they think they’re alone. But they’re not.
So, What Can You Do?
- Talk to someone. Start with your GP or a mental health professional. If that feels too intimidating, try opening up to a friend. Chances are, he’s been through something similar.
- Try therapy—solo or in groups. Talking through your experiences can help normalise them.
- Use digital tools. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer breathing exercises and guided meditations that can help you manage stress privately.
- Move your body. Exercise releases feel-good chemicals and helps regulate your nervous system. Even 20 minutes of walking can help.
- Cut back on alcohol and weed. They might take the edge off short term but can worsen anxiety long term.
You’re Not Alone
Anxiety doesn’t always show up with a bang. Often, it’s a slow build of tension you’ve been living with so long it feels normal. But it’s not. And it doesn’t have to be. Getting help isn’t weak—it’s smart. If you’re struggling, reach out to resources like SADAG or speak to a mental health professional. You don’t need a panic room. You need a panic plan.
This article by Jon Patrick Hatcher was originally published on Men’s Health US – additional reporting and products added by the Men’s Health SA team.
