Six out of 10 men claim that they’re unhappy with their partner. But that doesn’t mean that the grass is going to be greener. Use this five minute quiz to judge whether you really would be better off seeking pastures new, or find how to tend to your current relationship for a more active, loving and satisfying life indoors.
You and your partner spend time together…
A lot, with family and
friends *
Less than you’d both
like $
Much less than you
used to &
24/7, if possible §
A friend asks when you first met. You…
Struggle to remember *
Start wondering how life would be if you’d not met… &
Remember clearly because you still talk about it §
Hesitate; you and your partner have different recollections $
When your partner is excited, angry
or upset, she…
Keeps it to herself &
Tells you when the opportunity arises *
Texts, phones or emails
you immediately §
Blurts it out the minute
she sees you $
You reach out to touch your partner…
A lot, even in public $
When you’re in the same
room §
When you’re alone *
Only as a lead-in to sex &
The last time you made a big romantic gesture was…
Last week §
Last month $
Last year *
When you first met &
An affair is something you…
Would never even
consider §
Wouldn’t do, largely
because of the risk *
Would never do because it would hurt your partner $
Have been thinking about recently… &
Interactions between the two of you tend to be…
5% positive, 5% negative,
90% neutral &
15% positive, 15% negative,
70% neutral *
55% positive, 30% negative,
15% neutral $
70% positive, 5% negative,
25% neutral §
If offered a promotion in another city, you’d do whatever…
is best for your family *
Would make your partner
the happiest §
The two of you decided on $
You could persuade your partner into &
At an overnight conference, the evening’s just kicking off; you…
Turn your phone to silent &
Take time for a long phone call $
Phone briefly to check all’s well at home *
SMS your partner constantly §
If there’s a major argument brewing, you tend to…
Relish the chance to vent $
Calm things down
carefully *
Duck out of it the easiest
way possible &
Avoid it altogether §
You and your partner have sex…
To celebrate, congratulate or make up after a fight $
Not as much as you need &
Less than before, but
enough *
Almost every night §
At retirement age, you see yourself…
Holding hands §
On seperate continents &
Still arguing, still laughing $
Surrounded by grandchildren *
Your Diagnosis
Mostly §
If you’ve been together for a year or more, your relationship is starting to show the classic signs of dependence. Luckily, there’s a simple fix. “Reclaim your outside
interests as a matter of supreme
urgency,” says Quilliam. “Contact friends you’ve lost touch with, get back to playing sport mid-week – anything to create a bit of space.” If it’s a new thing, this is very much the way things should be. Enjoy it as much as you possibly can and you’ll be happier in the long-term.
Mostly *
The good news is that your relationship functions excellently day-to-day. But don’t get too hung up on practicalities. “This is a very common reason for the dispersion of the passion or lust that initially brought the two of you together,” says Quilliam. You can spring surprises and make romantic gestures as much as you like, but it is far more effective to regularly spend time one-on-one. It’s a hell of a lot easier, too.
Mostly $
You’re on the textbook emotional roller-coaster. If it starts to get mean, beware that the relationship doesn’t quickly implode. The first sign is that you never talk but always argue. There is good news, though.Research shows that if you balance out your arguments with affection, and disagreements with devotion, this kind of relationship can be healthy. Stick with it.
Mostly &
You probably didn’t need this test to prove that your relationship is not in great health. “If you’re not at each other’s throats, it’s only because you’ve stopped caring enough to bother,” says Quilliam. “If there’s really no compatibility then you should just walk away.” If love was there but has died, you will need specialist support to turn things around. Either way, you’ll be happier.
