It’s a sad fact of South African life that too many fathers are missing in action. According to the recently released State of South Africa’s Fathers 2024 (SOSAF 2024) report, only 35.6% of children lived with their biological fathers in 2023. While this affects all children, boys growing up without male role models face unique challenges. Without caring, committed and engaged men in their lives, they struggle to build a positive masculine identity.
In the absence of strong male figures, many boys turn to negative influences, such as gangsters in their communities or abusive online personalities who distort ideas of masculinity. In a country with alarmingly high rates of gender-based violence, the consequences of absent fathers are particularly dire. However, solutions exist beyond traditional fatherhood, and a growing movement recognises the power of social fathers—men who step into mentorship and caregiving roles even without a biological connection.
The Role of Social Fathers in Shaping Young Lives
Dr. Wessel van den Berg, Senior Advocacy Officer at Equimundo and contributor to SOSAF 2024, emphasises the significance of social fathers in children’s development. “The most vital finding of SOSAF 2024 is the significant role of social fathers in the lives of children,” he explains. “Understanding and acknowledging their role can help create more inclusive policies and interventions that support all forms of fatherhood, ultimately benefiting children and families.”
This shift in understanding is critical because traditional fatherhood has long been tied to financial provision. Historically, men were expected to be providers, while women were seen as primary caregivers. Over time, economic shifts have forced many women to take on both roles, balancing work and childcare. However, as job markets have become more precarious, many men who struggle to fulfill the provider role withdraw from family life instead of adapting to include caregiving as part of their identity. The persistent belief that caregiving is “women’s work” further discourages men from engaging fully in their children’s lives.
Overcoming Cultural Barriers to Male Caregiving
Many men lack role models who demonstrate that caregiving is both fulfilling and valuable. If they grew up with emotionally distant or absent fathers, they may not see active parenting as a natural part of manhood. Despite shifting societal norms, this remains a barrier to change. Without strong cultural reinforcement that fatherhood extends beyond financial support, disengagement continues.
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However, programs that promote social fatherhood are stepping in to fill this gap. One such initiative is The Character Company (TCC), which has spent the past 12 years mentoring boys growing up without fathers. Through a values-based curriculum and a structured mentorship model, TCC connects boys with positive male role models who guide them through critical developmental stages.
How Social Fathers Are Changing Lives
TCC’s volunteers act as social fathers, dedicating time and effort to mentor young boys. Their involvement has profound effects—studies show that children with engaged father figures, whether biological or social, perform better academically, develop stronger social skills, and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. Boys who grow up with positive male mentorship also tend to form healthier relationships and develop a stronger sense of self-worth.
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The impact of this work highlights why the SOSAF 2024 report calls for a societal shift in recognizing and supporting diverse forms of fatherhood. Policies that encourage male caregiving and the active participation of men in children’s lives—regardless of biological ties—are essential. TCC echoes this sentiment, urging communities, policymakers, and stakeholders to invest in initiatives that promote positive male mentorship.
By expanding the definition of fatherhood to include social fathers, South Africa can offer boys the support and guidance they need to build positive, healthy identities. Encouraging men to embrace caregiving as a meaningful and respected role will not only transform individual lives but also strengthen families and communities as a whole.
Meet Jaco van Schalkwyk
After beginning his career in the financial and corporate sectors, Jaco transitioned to the NGO space in 2001. He spent much of that time managing a non-profit in Johannesburg, where he witnessed the profound impact of absent fathers daily. While his hands-on involvement with communities and the NGO sector provided invaluable experience, his passion for addressing fatherlessness only grew stronger.
In 2013, Jaco founded The Character Company, believing that only through intentional MENtorship and the establishment of a values-based MENtorship culture in South Africa can we begin to change the prevailing culture of violence, corruption, and abuse.
A dedicated single dad, Jaco is deeply passionate about Jesus and the power of MENtorship to transform lives.
