Picture this: you’re on your first date and it seems to be going well but you know pretty soon you’re going to have to say goodnight and the stress of whether you kiss her or not is starting to give you jitters. The only thing that could make your more nervous is this finding: research shows that 66% of women will dump a date after a bad first kiss. Stressed out? Calm down bro, this is how to become a master of lip service:
Location, Location, Location
Your Move: Forget intimate restaurants – the best kisses happen in loud, crowded venues like bars or concerts. “Noise and energy trigger adrenaline, which increase her sexual arousal,” says life coach and dating expert Matthew Hussey.
Why? “Her heart will start pounding before you kiss her, which she’ll attribute to you,” says Hussey. “A loud environment gives you an excuse to get close when speaking. Press your cheek against hers, getting your lips close to her ear – a major erogenous zone.”
Your Move: “Face-cupping is seen as romantic by nearly all women,” says Judi James, author of The Body Language Bible (R135, takealot.com). Hussey advises: “Run your fingertips up her neck into her hair. Stimulating her scalp increases blood flow causing tingling in her neck, but she’ll think you’re causing the rush.”
Why? “Touching her body during kissing increases release of the bonding hormone oxytocin,” says sex and relationship expert Dr Joni Frater. “This will boost her affection and trust in you, and eventually give her stronger orgasms.”
Your Sweetness Is Her Weakness
Your Move: Order aniseed based spirits, like Jägermeister, and carry liquorice sticks. But wash off your aftershave.
Why? “The number one odour to enhance female vaginal blood-flow is liquorice,” says Dr Alan Hirsch of the American Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. “Conversely, the smell of too much men’s cologne can inhibit female sexual arousal.” So go easy on the aftershave and swing by the sweet shop on your way out. Or put on a splash or two of Michael Kors EDT 125ml (R1460, Edgars.co.za), which has hints of star anise.
Slippery When Wet
Your Move: “Don’t slobber all over her like a Great Dane. Brush your lips over hers until she parts them and offers her tongue,” says Dr Frater.
Why? Women like “wet” kissing a lot less than we do. “Saliva has testosterone in it, and men prefer sloppier kisses. This suggests men unconsciously try to trigger the female sex drive,” says Dr Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University.
Not sure whether to go for it? These are the 12 signs your date isn’t going well. If it isn’t going well. Just let it go, maybe your mate is out there somewhere else. Don’t make her uncomfortable by making advances that will make her feel uneasy.
Your Move: “Keep her face lightly cupped and look into her eyes,” says. “Breathe out and shake your head as though you found the kiss unbelievable.”
Why? “Most women will need some reassurance you find then sexy before they’ll fully let go,” says Hussey. Now move away from her slightly. “Passion followed by a pause acts like a hook,” says James. “One minute she has all your attention, the next you’re backing off. This creates a cognitive confusion, meaning she’ll use her body language to “ask” for the next kiss.” Clear your weekend – this could go on for a while…