These five missions will push your sex life—and your relationship—to new heights. Whip out your red pen and start crossing them off your to-do list.
Invent Your Own Move
“Improvising new sex positions shows that you’re secure enough with each other to experiment,” says Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Orgasm Bible. You’ll both feel like sexual pioneers, creating self-confidence that will liberate your libidos.
Your assignment: Tweak your old favorites. If you both enjoy rear entry, try standing on the floor while she leans on the bed. If missionary is a standby, shift so your torso is above her head. From there, add variations until you find a move that peaks arousal for both of you.
Designate a New “Hump Day”
Carving out a day of erotic activity can stoke your woman’s fires. “People complain about ‘planning’ sex, but reserving this time will build anticipation all month,” says relationship therapist Michele Weiner-Davis.
Your assignment: Set aside one weekend day a month to lavish attention on each other. Take a bath together, give massages, or play one-on-one strip poker.
Make a Reservation for Sex
“When you’re mired in a major life event like buying a house or even planning a vacation, the stress can do your sex life in,” says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., the Men’s Health Sex Professor.
Your assignment: Tell her what you’re going to do after you carry her over the threshold of the new house, or detail your intentions for the outdoor shower after your day at the beach. It’ll plant some passion-packed seeds for later.
Take a Sex Break
Sex can be stale when it’s an assembly-line process—tab A, slot B, repeat. “You need to rebuild the sexual tension,” says Weiner-Davis.
Your assignment: Plan a sex-free week (no oral action or wandering hands, either). After 7 agonizing days, both of your libidos will be through the roof. When naked time returns, extend foreplay to ramp up the excitement.
Squeeze in a Quickie at a Party
Sneaking away from a public gathering for your own 20-minute private party can jolt a stagnant sex life, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Different Loving. And reminiscing about that stolen tryst can still spark desire even years later.
Your assignment: At the next cocktail party, grab your girl’s hand and lead her to a secluded spot outside or even to your car. Since dryness can be a problem with on-the-fly nooky, start the fun by going down on her first.