Newsflash: Masturbation can be so much more than just a hurried, mindless release. So, if you’re still doing it the same way you were when you first learned at 13—looking at you, infamous death grip—then it’s time to learn a new masturbation technique or two.
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with having a trusty approach. But just as you don’t want to keep resorting to the same sex position, it can be a good idea to shake things up during those solo sessions now and then, too.
Because here’s the thing: When masturbation follows a predictable routine, it can start to feel less intense simply because “the human brain is naturally drawn to novelty,” says Justin J. Lehmiller, PhD, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want. But experimentation isn’t just a way to help you come harder; it’s also how you learn what actually works for your body. In time, this helps you build what Lehmiller calls “erotic versatility,” so you’re not reliant on one exact grip, speed, or script to get off.
Plus, mixing up your routine can actually make it easier to masturbate on the reg, which comes with significant health benefits. For starters, frequent masturbation “keeps the angle of your dangle perky,” Gloria Brame, PhD, a clinical sexologist, previously told Men’s Health. Whenever there’s a rush of blood to your nether regions (i.e., when you get an erection), the muscle of your penis becomes enriched with oxygen. Masturbation also helps strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which in turn can prevent erectile dysfunction. Experts say to aim for three to five solo pleasure sessions a week—consider it just another part of your self-care routine.
READ MORE: What You Need to Know About Erectile Dysfunction, According to a Urologist
With all that in mind, here are 12 expert-approved techniques to try:
1. Change your position.
“Have you ever masturbated standing?” sex therapist and Rebel Love author Chris Donaghue, PhD, asks, because a surprising number of men never do. Switching positions can make solo sessions “more interesting and dynamic,” he says, so if lying on your back is your default, try sitting up in a chair or standing in the shower.
READ MORE: 15 Kama Sutra Sex Positions for Beginners, Recommended by Sex Experts
This is an easy, beginner-friendly way to explore new techniques, but don’t feel like you have to approach your penis from a new angle every time. Your body is built a certain way, says Jon Prezant, LCSW, a New York-based sex and couples therapist, so if a position feels awkward, you’re not necessarily doing it “wrong.” It just may not work for you—and that’s totally okay. You can always pick a position that fits and stick to it.
2. Switch up your grip.
Most guys default to the same grip every time. Nothing wrong with that, but since you want to switch things up, Prezant suggests changing one variable at a time. For example, masturbate at the same speed with a lighter grip, and notice what changes. Then, try your go-to grip, but at a slower pace, and continue to notice what changes. Let the different sensations guide you rather than pushing toward a specific outcome (emphasis on come). Curiosity, Prezant says, matters a lot more than “doing it right.”
3. Say ‘OK’.
“Think about how many fingers you’re using to wrap around your shaft,” says Anne Hodder, a certified sex and relationships educator in Los Angeles. “All five can cover more surface area, but what would it feel like to make an ‘a-OK’ symbol with your thumb and pointer finger, and swirl up and down your dick?”
Hodder’s “OK” suggestion is worth trying because it shifts where the pressure lands. Just remember to use a much lighter grip than you think you need, Prezant says. If you feel numbness, tingling, or that push through to the end feeling, that’s often a sign you’re using too much pressure.
4. Give your stroke a twist.
The most common way to masturbate involves an up-and-down motion, and while that can certainly do the trick, Lehmiller recommends adding some rotation to your stroke.
“Start by applying a generous amount of your favorite lube, and begin with a longer stroke with a slow twist to get used to the movement,” he says. “Then, adjust the grip, speed, and stroke length based on what feels best to you.”
You can also try a two-handed twist by gripping your penis with one hand on top of the other, and then slowly twisting your hands in opposite directions.
“Once you get the motion down, you can experiment with the grip and speed, and potentially add an up-and-down stroking motion to it as well,” adds Lehmiller.
5. Put that opposite hand to good use.
Here’s another new way to use your hands: Take the hand you don’t normally use to masturbate, turn it so it slides down your shaft forefinger-first, and twist it as you stroke, sex therapist Emily Morse, PhD, previously told Men’s Health.
Switching hands can break autopilot and change sensation, but don’t judge this technique in the first 10 seconds. This is a learning process, says Michael Stokes, LMHC, a sex therapist in West Hartford, Connecticut, so don’t expect it to feel “perfect” immediately. Give it a few sessions before you decide whether it’s worth keeping in your rotation.
6. Play ball.
Your testicles are loaded with nerve endings, so don’t neglect them during masturbation, according to Morse. Lots of guys find their orgasms are more powerful when they pull down on their balls gently before they come—but “gently” is the operative word. Cupping, light pressure, or subtle, rhythmic movement can add pleasurable sensation for some guys. But if you yank too hard, too soon, it can be distracting or just plain uncomfortable. Try a little tug, see how that feels, then adjust based on your body’s response.
7. Use both hands at once.
When you’re masturbating, don’t be afraid to try using both hands at the same time.
“While one [hand] is stroking, use the other to stroke or cup the testicles,” Hodder says. “Maybe experiment with applying pressure against the perineum or tickling your nipples while you’re stroking with the other hand, especially as you get closer to orgasm—you might experience an even more powerful orgasm!”
8. Use lube (always).
Lube can make any masturbation session feel better because it helps you avoid friction irritation—and not just during extended edging sessions. Another reason to lube up? Prezant calls lube “the closest simulator to the real thing” because it mimics the sensation of oral/vaginal/anal sex better than a dry hand, and it often helps you relax your grip so you’re not conditioning yourself to one ultra-intense pressure setting.
READ MORE: Is Saliva Good Lubrication? Here Are Reasons to Avoid Spit as Lube
9. Slow down on purpose.
A lot of younger guys masturbate with the goal of orgasming as quickly as possible, says Lehmiller, but “slowing down and paying attention to the sensations in your body can potentially make the experience more pleasurable.”
Stokes calls out how most men are trained to think “How can I cum the fastest?” instead of “What feels good?” But, he says, slowing down helps you notice sensation and adjust in real time. Arousal is a wave, so let it build.
10. Try the “squeeze” if you’re practicing control.
Slowing down can help you learn ejaculation control, as can the “squeeze” technique, according to Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex therapist and author of She Comes First. When you feel yourself about to have an orgasm, stop what you’re doing and squeeze your penis right below the head, Kerner previously told Men’s Health. Use your thumb and forefinger to apply firm pressure to the urethra (the tube that runs along the bottom of your penis). By doing this, you’ll push blood out of your member and decrease your arousal, which will help you control ejaculation.
This isn’t mandatory by any means, and it can feel distracting for some people, but if your goal is lasting longer, it’s one tool to experiment with.
11. Open your mind to toys (and buy something you won’t hate cleaning).
Historically, sex toys have been more taboo for men than women, which makes a lot of guys miss out on new sensations, Lehmiller says. Toys can add novelty and help you discover what you like without tiring out your hands.
READ MORE: The 13 Beginner Sex Toys That Will Improve Your Sex Life
His go-to toy for beginners: The Arcwave Voy, a compact stroker with adjustable tightness and “not a big learning curve.” Prezant and Stokes also recommend a basic masturbation sleeve as an easy entry point because it builds on sensations most men already understand.
But skip “egg” masturbation sleeves, Prezant says, because they’re “disposable novelties.” Instead, he suggests investing in body-safe materials, like medical-grade silicone, and choosing a design that looks easy to clean.
Make sure you clean your toy after every use, let it dry fully, and store it somewhere clean, says Stokes. You should also avoid sharing toys without cleaning them beforehand (and consider condom use on any shared toys).
12. Explore your prostate.
If you’re familiar with the “male G-spot,” that’s the prostate. But in case you’re just getting acquainted with the walnut-sized gland located between your bladder and rectum, here’s how to find it: Insert your (clean, lubed-up) fingers about two inches into your rectum, and curve them toward your belly button in a “come hither” motion.
READ MORE: Here’s How to Get Way Better at Fingering, According to Sex Experts
Stimulating the prostate while masturbating can feel intensely pleasurable for some men, but it’s most definitely not a requirement for a great masturbation sesh. If you do choose to explore, just go slow, use lots of lube, and only use toys designed for anal play (meaning, they have a flared base). If you’re a fan and feel like you’re ready to take your prostate play to the next level, add a prostate massager to your masturbation routine.
Meet the Experts
- Justin J. Lehmiller, PhD, is a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.
- Chris Donaghue, PhD, is a sex therapist, the director of clinical education for The Sexual Health Alliance, and author of Rebel Love: Break the Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits, and Have the Best Sex of Your Life.
- Jon Prezant, LCSW, CST, is an AASECT-certified sex and couples therapist and licensed clinical social worker in New York.
- Anne Hodder, CSE, is a certified sex and relationships educator and a member of the board of directors for SIECUS: Sex Ed for Social Change.
- Michael Stokes, LMHC, is a sex therapist in West Hartford, Connecticut.
This article by Sean Abrams and Rebecca Strong was published on Men’s Health US
