Is Your Girlfriend Fantasising About Someone Else When You Have Sex?

by | Oct 8, 2016 | Sex & Love

Guys are always trying to figure out what goes on in a females mind. Most times we find out the hard way (not that hard way). Follow The Girl Next Door and find out how to approach everyday pet peeves you are likely to come across at some point.

I love going down on my girlfriend, but my jaw gets sore after a while. Any pointers? – Vusi

Pointers, you say? An apt choice of words, Vusi: employ your index finger to massage during and then to mimic the movement of your tongue when you tire. Just having you down there is a turn on, so relax – slow down, let her grind against you, rest your head on her thigh and use your digits to boost stamina and sensation. Still need pointers? Here’s the ultimate guide to giving head.

I’m really not interested in having kids. How soon should I break it to the woman I’m dating? – Deon

I’m assuming you see long-term potential here, because if it’s just a fling, then you don’t need to say anything. Usually this is something that comes up when you’re really getting to know each other. If it’s important to her either way (she’s dead keen on a family or completely anti-breeding), she’s probably asked how you feel about the topic. Otherwise, let it come up naturally – I would feel really awkward if a man had to sit me down and give me a “warning” – but, like everything else, be honest and don’t lead her on.

I have a girlfriend; my best mate doesn’t. He keeps asking me to play wingman and it’s getting old. How should I tell him to find a new pickup partner? – Chris

I’m not surprised you feel a bit more like a prop than a friend. Tell him: “I’m up for hanging out, but not for playing third wheel.” When he moves in on the ladies, you’re going to split. He might feel resentful at first about not feeling supported, but if he’s your friend he’ll get it, call only when he actually wants your company, and get a more dedicated wingman.

The woman I’m seeing is always SMSing while we’re out on dates. Do I have to put up with it? – Alan

No way! OCSD (obsessive compulsive smartphone disorder) is a deal breaker for a lot of guys, so don’t be shy about speaking up – if she’ll hear you. You could pick up your phone while she’s busy and text her that you’re missing her beautiful eyes. Usually just being “told off” once will make her realize her behaviour’s not okay with you.

A friend told me it’s common knowledge that women fantasise about their platonic guy friends all the time. Is this true? – Mzonke

Hmm… maybe you’re projecting? I know few men who can have truly platonic girlfriends that they haven’t, secretly, wondered what it would be like to have sex with them. Women tend to be a little more black and white about the lines between friends and lovers (though in the recent Women’s Health sex survey, 51% of the respondents said they’d had friends with benefits). When we’re in a relationship especially, we look for male friends who offer us something different from our partners – beer and banter, most often. There’s a difference between curious – “I wonder what he looks like naked?” – and fantasising. Now, if my platonic BF was Ryan Reynolds on the other hand…

Breast Stroke – We asked 900 women how they want you to treat their breasts. If their responses convey one thing, it’s that you should probably take a broader approach to exploring her whole chest. With your mouth. Think you can handle that? Here’s how the answers broke down.

  • 34% Want more oral action (kissing, sucking or licking)
  • 24% Wish you’d share your nipple attention with the rest of her breast
  • 22% Wish you’d pay more attention to her breasts during intercourse, instead of just during foreplay
  • 17% Wish you’d be a little rougher with her breasts
  • 3% Wish you’d lavish more attention on her nipples

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